Bienvenue, my little trolls!

I tried to start a blog a while ago at the behest of a friend of mine (who for some reason thinks I'm incredibly funny), but my insane retail job got in the way.  Now, having quit my job and moved to the middle of nowhere (ostensibly to help out family), I find myself with more free time than is good for me.

In between the fruitless, soul-crushing searches for employment offering more than Mitt Romney pays his domestic staff (hell, I'd even settle for that...put me in a binder, Mr. Romney!), I like to peruse the interwebs for things that make me less likely to jump from the roof of a tall building.  This, of course--in addition to turning me into Mr. Magoo--invariably leads to something pissing me off.  Normally a cynical, sarcastic gal with a heart of gold (like this guy), this trolling--in some sort of inverse alchemy--turns me into a ranting, I-will-cut-you-if-you-disagree-with-me sort of confrontational social media user.

How I imagine I look
(Source:  http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com)

Of course, I don't actually look like that, but that's how I feel.  I obviously have friends and relatives who disagree with me, but when I'm in the zone, I get combative.  (Mom always used to say, "Use your words."  I wonder if she regrets saying that now.)  I respect everyone's right to have an opinion, your opinion isn't always right (mine is...j/k, sorta), and sometimes it's hurtful and detrimental to others.  I also don't have to listen to your nonsense, which is my right.

So that's what this blog is going to be:  a cathartic exercise and (hopefully) amusing forum in which I can vent and avoid turning into a mouth-foaming lunatic, but I'm making no promises about the latter.

You won't like me when I'm angry.

Fair warning though, I swear like a sailor.  I have lived abroad, which changed my perception of culture.  I also like to make fun of pretty much anything, but especially politics and religion.  I studied history and find it terribly frustrating that politicians and religious figures often have no understanding of historical events (or current events, or logic, for that matter).

I will not promise that I will be a regular blogger, because I'm pretty infamously a procrastinator.  I can't even promise to maintain any particular theme, because whatevs (and FREEDOM, bitches!).  And if that bothers you, I'm sure you can find something vaguely entertaining by the trolls at Reddit.